it’s like i post a dramatic two paragrapher and leave y’all hangin’! sorry!
i had my issue on the bike last tuesday…a WHOLE 10 days ago…
that also happened to be the last day i worked out (until i snuck into the gym to do a quick “efficiency upper” workout after work today!)…
this is how it played out…
POOR ME! eh…whatever!
so…bike…dizzy…flush…tired…weak…worried…took time off…planned to try back up easily this past monday.
no go…got hit with some flu bug that had me with a sore throat and REALLY tired beginning saturday evening.
it must be related to everything else, right?
OH…and, it MUST be related to my blood pressure which tends to “ride high”, right?!?
saw doctors…they just think it’s a virus…and that my body has been spending time telling me subtly with the random dizziness during workouts and then suddenly reared its head this weekend. AND, that blood pressure…nope…no need for drugs yet! just gotta keep an eye on that salt (wahhh!) and keep the activity high (yay for training! ugh!)
ok…thanks…i wish you drew blood and did more to be sure but that’s just super-neurotic me!
what do i think?
yes, i think they were correct.
i also think that a lot of everything was MAJORLY due to stress and fatigue… the nutrition thing i think is next on that checklist.
i’m a high strung guy. i’m super anal-retentive. i’m a worrier. i want everything i do to be 200% great so it takes a lot for me to delegate. therefore, my plate is typically OVERFLOWING! oh…it probably doesn’t help that i pretty much self diagnosed myself with attention deficit disorder too, does it?!? (i did an online test!)
I ALWAYS WANT TO PROVE THAT I’M GREAT BECAUSE I WANT EVERYONE TO LIKE ME! so, i take on everything and try to do tons at once and make tons of notes to myself so i know where i left off on the project i just walked away from. (post-it would make a fortune off of me if i didn’t enjoy evernote so much!)
yup…i laid it out there…so?
how do i continue accepting that all of the above that i just threw up onto you is…hugely…just me?!? how do i make it not literally get me sick?!?
i share it.
i think about it.
i try not to over-analyze it (keyword: TRY!).
and, i work on taking care of it…
“it” is ME!
i need to say “no” more often when asked to do something. i need to understand that it’s okay not to be perfect all the time. i need to let go more and trust in others. i need to allow myself to get a massage more often than i have to help me relax because i recognize that it’s really difficult for me to just stop, close my eyes, and take deep breaths in the middle of the day…i need to “schedule it”.
clearly…i haven’t been doing much training…almost two whole weeks…so…i’ve had time to think.
where do i go from here?
my plan is to feel good that i just shared all that with you…
then, i’ll work tomorrow…then, i’ll hopefully get to the vision quest workout at the UIC 50 meter pool in time to get a few laps in…and then i’ll enjoy my evening…
i’ll try to disconnect more and make sure i’m “doing me” enough so i can be “on and fresh” for training and the rest of my life at work and with my friends. this is a perfect time for a restart. i mean, it feels like spring in chicago already! AND, i’ve been given permission by my coach to follow doctor’s orders and ease back into training by doing 50-60% of what is prescribed this weekend.
i’ll balance it.
i’ll figure it out.
i’ll let go a tad.
but, i won’t try to change me.
so…i’m nervous…is it something medically wrong with me? did my parents give it to me? am i just stressed out and it’s carrying over to my training? or, is it nutrition? is it hydration? is it high blood pressure?
WHAT THE F*CK IS IT?!?
i was planning on doing my usual tuesday intensity ride this evening…but, i got to the first SE interval after my warmup and started feeling really dizzy…flush…as if i was in REAL trouble when i was a kid…i got cold…
i made it through…then, i had my 1 minute recovery…we’ll see how round 2 goes…not any better…
i called it and surrendered so i didn’t pass out on the bike. i only got 29 mins in. i still feel funky/weak.
the immediate email that went out to my coach was what happened… how i think it might be from my stress… but how i also wonder if it has something to do with genetics or the high measurement in my blood pressure when i’ve seen my doctor in the past few months.
i am going to get something on the books… maybe a stress test… blood test… SOMEthing!
i hope i’m not sidelined… i’m pissed and scared at the same time!